Opinion on quote?

[Derek]

Every morning I recieve a quote in my 'inbox'. I thought this one was pretty interesting this morning. I know that we have  the 'introverted personality,' but do you think sometimes this is what we are really chasing after?

Quote: "Just like the wild beasts, you want your own autonomy. You want freedom. You want freedom from negative emotion. You want freedom from somebody telling you what to do. Whether you are consciously aware of it or not -- what all of you want is a sense of 'Well-being' and this is how you gain that."

note: I personally hate when people give you advise  -  as if you haven't already 'searched' for your own answers!

Thanks for any opinions. Derek

[Alex]

Well, I think the source is a bit worrisome - apparently the source of the quote 'Esther Hicks' states that non-physical entities called Abraham speak through her...

I am not a big fan of anything paranormal, but if we look aside my prejudices concerning this, I think the quote is rather common sensical - eg. who doesn't want freedom, autonomy or not experiencing negative emotions - a 2 year old would nod in agreement, no? :-)

However, that aside, rereading this, I think these statements cause some concern with me

You want freedom from negative emotion & what all of you want is a sense of 'Well-being'

I can only say, if life only was that easy... You can't go trough life trying to avoid unpleasantness at any cost, many try, but they pay a very high price. Not only can they not avoid unpleasantness, but when they face it, it hits them much harder because attempting to avoid it had made them so much more sensitive to it. To quote Bruce Springsteen:

Oh girl that feeling of safety you prize
Well it comes at a hard hard price
You can't shut off the risk and the pain
Without losin' the love that remains

[Margee]

 Alex said: You can't go through life trying to avoid unpleasantness at any cost, many try, but they pay a very high price. Not only can they not avoid unpleasantness, but when they face it, it hits them much harder because attempting to avoid it had made them so much more sensitive to it.

Alex - this is good! I love the law of attraction stuff, but I have been very let down by it also. I think that  Ester Hicks (and her friend Abraham!  ) make some sense in trying to help one to think 'positive'. That's not such a bad thing? But as I said, I have been disappointed in this new law of attraction material, because just like you said - we all want the freedom of  negative emotions and all these people give such 'think positive' and it will happen statements!  Many, Many times, this has not worked for me, as positive as I have tried to 'think'.

 Alex - what do you mean by the above statement - can you expand on that a little?

P.S. Derek - I dislike people giving me advise also (especially when I've done all the research)  but I know that sometimes they do it with a good intended heart. I just tell them, thanks, I've done the research on the subject and let it drop.

Sincerely, Margee

[Jonimom]

What has worked for you guys as far as handling stessful or negative situations?  I have also read the Esther Hicks stuff and I get a little turned off by the concept of "Abraham".  Positive thinking is only easy for me when I don't actually need it.  Alex, what do you do to handle negative thinking?

[Alex]

Alex - what do you mean by the above statement - can you expand on that a little?

Sorry Margee, which statement are you refering to?

[Alex]

What has worked for you guys as far as handling stessful or negative situations?  I have also read the Esther Hicks stuff and I get a little turned off by the concept of "Abraham".  Positive thinking is only easy for me when I don't actually need it.  Alex, what do you do to handle negative thinking?

Hi Jonimom,

Well..., good question. I like to take a rational approach - eg. if I start to fall into a negative thinking mood, what I find often helps me is the use of mathematical odds. Eg. if I am worried about something, I start to think how likely(or what the odds of) that a certain 'bad thing' will actually happen - often, the odds will be very low - and as a saying goes, you can't beat the odds - so the chances of the bad thing actually happening, is correspondingly low - and should it happen I will worry about it then. So, if it seems like that the likelihood of something bad happening is very low, I often can dismiss the thought. If I should use a more cerebral approach, I like the concepts taught in the school of Cognitive Psychology, it appeals to my rational ideals. Btw a good proponent of this as I have mentioned often before is Robert Leahy, author of the Worry Cure which I found very helpful.

[newmom2008]

I don't care for someone giving unsolicited advice. If I want advice, I will ask for it.

I think too many people are focused on criticizing others, or wanting to tear other people down. I don't want their negative opinion of me. I know I am not perfect, but I also know I have positive qualities. I just get tired of constant criticism coming from all directions.

[Margee]

Thanks Alex - this paragragh:

You can't go through life trying to avoid unpleasantness at any cost, many try, but they pay a very high price. Not only can they not avoid unpleasantness, but when they face it, it hits them much harder because attempting to avoid it had made them so much more sensitive to it.

  Sincerely,Margee

[Alex]

Thanks Alex - this paragragh:

You can't go through life trying to avoid unpleasantness at any cost, many try, but they pay a very high price. Not only can they not avoid unpleasantness, but when they face it, it hits them much harder because attempting to avoid it had made them so much more sensitive to it.

  Sincerely,Margee

Hi Margee,

Ok. To give an example. Let's say somebody has a trait within themselves that they don't like very much. They try to hide this, because they are afraid of what others might think should they be discovered and the world would recognize the 'true' core of somebody and won't like it(and the person to a large extent bases his own selfesteem of what he thinks others think of him(even if he can't control what they think ;-). For examples sake, let's say that a person starts to stutter if he gets very excited. This person thinks it is embarassing and shameful to stutter, because he doesn't want the world to think that there is something about him which is not normal. Consequently he does everything to hide that he stutters. He turns down invitations to go to ball games or playing Dungeons and dragons, because he fears he might stutter then. Also, constantly he is on guard trying to surpress any chances of stuttering from occuring. However, on a handfuld of ocassions he has got excited about something(keep in mind, he tries to avoid getting excited(deriving himself of this plesant emotion in the process) and stuttered in front of others and he almost felt he could die of shame. He is not used to having others hear his stutter, he is afraid they will like him less and the whole experience becomes so dramatic(despite his best attempts to avoid it) that it has a very unplesant sensatory effect on him. It could be that in the past(his childhood) somebody laughed at him when he stuttered and whenever now he thinks of a public stutter, this unpleasant emotional memory returns to him and he wants to avoid this negative feeling at all cost.

So, what we can learn from this is, 1. His constant state of trying not to get caught has made him anxious around others.2.Because he is not used to or has learnt the mechanisms to deal with being 'exposed' when a public stutter (inevitably) occurs, the situation hits him much harder and becomes a lot more uncomfortable than if he had 'allowed' himself to stutter in public more frequently and deliberately. 3. By not accepting his stutter and perhaps having irrational beliefs in being seen as deficient by others (and by himself) he denies himself of social opportunities. 4. He is afraid of his own emotions and attemps to push away negative feelings when they occur, but at the same time, by doing this, he also denies himself of experiencing positive emotions. I believe to have read, that if you want to experience positive emotions and the full joy of these, you can only enjoy these fully if you also have allowed yourself to feel negative emotions.

In short, to get back to the example, he thinks it would be the end of the world to experience the unplesantness of having people noticing him stutter, so instead of just accepting that this might be a temporay state of uncomfortableness which diminishes the more he let's himself experience it and put himself into situations where he can experience it(rather than avoiding them), he does everything to hide it - making him constantly anxious, uncomfortable in his own skin and creating distance between himself and others - Or in other words, his fear of his own emotions when facing something uncomfortable lessens his quality of life. The above example can be replaced by so many other things we shy away from, because we are afraid of a negative emotion - for example asking for a date or speaking up against somebody who has treated us unjustly to mention a few others - Or it could be changing your name, because you don't want people to think that you are 'one of them'....

Hope this helps

[Derek]

Wow! one littlle quote from Esther and I get this discussion going!  
I guess this quote (when I read it) means to me that I like the freedom of just being me. The freedom from negativity is staying away from certain people and the freedom from people telling you what to do, is why I tend to keep more to myself. All their opinions just drive me, even though I try to smile through it all.

 By the way, Alex, how did you know this was from Abraham quotes? Did you used to read about their work? I just like their positive way of thinking sometimes. I don't really know if I believe that Abraham exists? Sometimes I think people can make that stuff up, but 'he' does sound smart a lot of the time.    Derek

[Margee]

Thank you so much Alex for taking the time to explain that. I really appreciate it! You are a good teacher!

I just read Derek's post above mine. Don't you think it  is a little true what he is saying? (Even though the quote was from paranormal sources)

 I think he was looking at that 'quote' from an introvert's point of view. (If I'm wrong, Derek, correct me!  )

Jonimom, some of the things that I do when I get in to negative thinking is to ask myself: What is the worst thing that could possibly happen? It would be death for me or one of my loved ones.(I don't mean to be morbid) I have studied death to try and understand why life is the way life is. It is always the fear that is 'right under the skin' for me when I am worrying! I have been through the experience of losing some of my loved ones - It's not fun, but I made it! Death is a fact of life and I MUST accept this. I don't like it any better than anyone else!    Everyday that I and my loved ones are alive, I am grateful! I have decided that I will face that 'enemy' when it happens!

When I start to worry about money - I stop all shopping and count every penny that I spend until I catch up!

When I start to worry - I go shopping, (when I'm caught up!) I listen to music, I go at my housework hard, walk, pray, exercise or I research on the computer. Basically, I try to distract myself any way I can. It's not always easy, but it helps..

Sincerely, Margee

[secretmoonglow]

Margee, distractions all by themselves won't work.  Money worries will just come back after the distraction is done, and maybe be even worse.  Ditto death worries or any other worry.  That is because there is some wisdom in the worry.  If you are concerned about money it is because you are probably right, at least to a degree.  Ditto a lot of other worries.

Within the worry you probably know what to do.  Doing that thing usually makes the worry ease up.

Also, try scheduling a time, maybe 15 minutes or an hour, and deliberately feel the worry twice as much.  Guaranteed the mood will burn itself out, probably within a few minutes to a few hours.

Oh the damage that some of these 'positive attitude' pop psych guru figures do!  Trying to cover up with distractions or positive thinking just makes the troubles reappear twice as big and the intensity of worry reappear twice as big.

[Margee]

hi secretmoonglow! Thanks for the advise! I think that maybe I should have used another word besides 'distraction'. Action is a better word.

 Although distraction can mean greater interest in something other than the object of attention. (like worry) For instance, the good side of distraction can be that something else attracts another 'attention,' which means we are not paying attention in another area. (like worry) Like psysical exercise (Walking is the number one choice for stress relief.) swimming, dancing, reading, research or doing housework, etc....

I find 'worry' to be a normal human trait. I don't like it, but it's about 'survival' for me. It is a strong physiological response to life and the unknown. I force myself to do something different. Even choosing to have fun!    Fun is not a dirty word. Play! I like to do something I used to do as a child or long ago before I had all of the commitments.(and worries)

Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh.  I find all this helps! Even when I was very worried about a certain physical test coming back - a good laugh can help me to forget just for a little while.

Yes - Action would have been a better word! That's what I do - I try to take action.

Useful worry prompts action and worry without action does nothing. I think you are saying that worry is useful if it makes you pay attention?  That's what is does to me! and I do learn the wisdom of the lesson!

As far as the money goes - Unless I win the lottery, spending less will directly affect my bank balance when I 'pull back' from spending. And i do it until I feel 'safe' again. I don't need to deliberately feel the worry twice as much   - if that works for you - I'm really happy for you! It's just not my way. I would rather put it on paper and make a plan of action.

Death is one of those things that we can't escape from. We have no control over many of the things we worry about. So I try really hard to accept life on life's terms. Half of the things that I fretted about in my life already have 'come to pass' and I made it through every one of them! We are strong survivors!

When I worry -  I try to decide if something can be done and I take 'action'. If there is nothing I can do right away, then I make a plan of when, where and how I will tackle the problem. I realize that this is my opinion only, but it works for me!

My prayer: Lord, grant me the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference."

P.S. another really good book for 'thought stopping' that I read is  "Brain Lock" by Dr. Jeffrey M. Schwartz.  It is about freeing yourself from obsessive-compulsive behavior like worrying! (for anyone interested)

Sincerely, Margee

[radames]

I've listened to a little bit of the Abraham-Hicks tapes on "The Power of Emotions" and I was a little bit interested in the idea of spreading the good vibrations in the world rather than the bad ones.  Yet, like most other people, I am much too aware of the reality of the current life in which we live and cannot get beyond knowing that the "negative" aspects are always influencing situations either with their current affliction or future affliction.

I can feel good now about something but because of my knowledge that feelings like that don't always last, usually moments come that remind me of the sting one can feel with emotions.  Thereby, I would rather expect the "negative" aspects in order to be pleasantly surprised by the "good" aspects and feelings.  This way I am always looking for the good but from a perspective that expects negative happenstances.  In my opinion, this makes me really appreciative of the great times and the awesome feelings that I have, even though they are manifested in a subtle and introspective manner.  I won't "shout for joy" but my heart will swell with satisfaction when I encounter some favorable vibes while my face remains rather even-tempered.

Don't get me wrong, I do smile a lot and laugh a lot around loved ones, especially my wife, yet with people I don't know, I am pretty "emotionally dull" but in a professional and very subtly positive manner; only enough to charm people enough to maintain an atmosphere of peace.

I know that this is a rather "different" perspective, but I actually welcome the vehicular effect of death.  I know that we all belong to another realm of existence and I crave that existence more than anything.  I won't reject the events from which I can learn in this current level of existence, on this planet, yet I will always prefer the place that I belong which definitely is NOT here.

As far as Abraham-Hicks, I'm not sure if it is a philosophy that appeals more, or is engaged more, by/to extroverts but it would seem that a more positive approach would bring one to be more social and outgoing as the majority of this world is extroverted.  I am just processing what I've heard of it.  I am curious as to the background and personality perspective of the medium, Barbara?, that Abraham uses in these lectures.  Has she had a positive upbringing?  Is she an extrovert?  Has she had to endure any abusive situations in life?  In what state was the wellness of her being before she started channeling Abraham and how does it compare to after she started channeling?

I suppose that it is good to use our capacity of critical thought and to question everything if it produces greater zeal to find the Truth.