What happens when the extrovert doesn't get what they want?

[Ms.Jackson]

I have never seen an extrovert totally not get what they want which is attention, admiration, and affirmation. For the most part, they can be very charming and funny, and very skilled in always making the crowd laugh or engaged in what they have to say

but I would like to know if any introverts have witnessed an extrovert who came across a small group (maybeof  introverts) and did not get ANY of the attention they wanted-no one laughs at their jokes, no one responds to what they say, etc  How do they behave? I feel that it can be quite scary, almost dangerous sight to see. Even if they feel a small percentage of ppl are not giving them attention & are not amped they can get bothered and a bit antsy

[Alex]

They stand in disbelief - keep in mind extroverts think there is only one way of living and what constitutes their 'normal' is what they believe is what everybody must embrace - and if some people do not share their values these people in their eyes need counselling. A common extrovert statement is, When I went through some tough times, I became more introverted and kept to myself.

About a year ago there was an extrovert here who posted about her problems with her introverted boyfriend. Some other extrovert responded and her reaction was like, 'finally!, a normal person' But, in order to answer your question, I think an extrovert in such a situation would first react with disbelief and then later perhaps become as you say a bit offended and antsy. This lack of affirmation threatens the image they like to hold of themselves and which is very dear to them(It is not a situation they often encounter though, because the whole world appears to be extroverted(and where extrovert values are championed).

I would imagine though  in such a situation as you mention something like this would go through their brain:

Here I am this cool person, how dare you not acknowledge it and how dare you not even try to be social(even if you are a dork!(because you are a dork you need even more to come out)). I am out of my good heart spending time with and trying to help a dork like you(even if I could spend my time a lot better) so how dare you not even accept the hand I reach out to you(I am wondering if my boobs like ok in this outfit)

[newmom2008]

but I would like to know if any introverts have witnessed an extrovert who came across a small group (maybeof  introverts) and did not get ANY of the attention they wanted-no one laughs at their jokes, no one responds to what they say, etc  How do they behave? I feel that it can be quite scary, almost dangerous sight to see. Even if they feel a small percentage of ppl are not giving them attention & are not amped they can get bothered and a bit antsy

My husband is this way. Very extroverted. He tells lots of jokes at parties and social gatherings, in fact, he will keep telling joke after joke in an effort to get people to laugh. He needs this. I do not know why. And to answer your question, he gets upset later if he feels he hasn't gotten enough attention at the party. He will ask me if he "did anything wrong" or "said anything wrong". He will agonize over peoples' reactions to him - things I had not even noticed. I will tell him "look, everyone has probably forgotten about this or that; its not the big deal you make it out to be". I think in some ways, that extroverts can experience worse problems with social anxiety than introverts do.

[radames]

Does it really have a lot to do with an overdeveloped sense of importance or even superiority?  Is the extrovert simply more in touch and obsessed with their ego than is the introvert, IN GENERAL?

I wonder if the extrovert is very used to getting what they want because of their skill and ability to use the power of conversation, magnetic energy, and sheer force to manipulate others into doing what they want.  If you think about it, a lot of extroverts are able to use their spirit or chi, whatever you want to call it, to overwhelm and disorient others by the use of the diversion.  This diversion removes the attention of others from whatever they were doing to the extrovert.  For example, if anyone increases the decibel of their speaking voice and act in a dramatic manner, they usually are given a lot of attention.  This can be construed as "diverting the attention and energy of others from their previous focus to the extrovert."

It is rare than an extrovert will be conscientious, quiet, and respectful unless they are depressed, or "down and out," or "introverted" as was stated in a different thread.  Usually the extrovert will try to take charge and impose his or her will on everyone involved like a druggie preparing for the next fix.  If you think about it, the drug effect can be seen in someone who has all of the attention, the praise, the adulation, and impression in a group setting.  They feel all-powerful, popular, well-supported, and "strong."  The source of this strength isn't inner, it is outer and an indication of how strong they are probably comes from the ability to affect and influence and manipulate others into doing the things that the extrovert wants to be done.  If others can't be hypnotized by them then that extrovert is "weak" or "boring" or "without game."

It would be quiet interesting to see an extrovert completely ignored by a group of innies.  It would be a rare feat.  This is the sad fact because extrovert KNOW the power that they have because I think it has more to do with a comprehensive effect of ALL extrovert feeding each other rather than one extrovert being his or her own source of power and strength.  When you see ONE outie you usually see the effect of ALL of them. 

Every conversation, every flattering comment, every practical joke played on a "weaker personality," every encouragement that has every occurred due to the exuberant and energetic personality of that type-A person is reinforced in another person just like them.  The two strengths become and enhanced ONE and this process repeats itself millions upon millions and billions of times until it is obvious that the extrovert isn't a person but a FORCE.

[Ms.Jackson]

I just thought of a situation

I remember being friends with a guy who was incredibly extroverted. Once, on threeway, me, extroverted guy and this other girl who was introverted like me were having a discussion. Me and the introverted girl were conversating about something and we were really bonding and agreeing with each other on a particular topic. The extroverted guy was not able to persuade us about his opinion on this subject. Eventually we began to ignore him and chat

he became so worked up from being ignored and not getting his voice heard and not able to persuade us that he was right that he was yelling irrelevant childish things. This guy was 30 years old might I add..and he even began to insult us. it was one of the most scariest things.

Eventually he just hung up the phone and most likely called up some other friends to get the attention he wanted.

[FallenofTrack]

I find that the more extroverted a person is, the less likely I am to like that person for very long.  I know that sounds mean, but this is a pattern that I have seen in my life over the past few years.  I am not the kind of person to go around smiling and laughing and putting on a show of having a good time just to please someone who is extroverted or extremely extroverted.
I also think that extreme extroverts want to be liked by other people and are probably often taken aback if someone doesn't see the extroverted person, the way that extroverted person sees him or her self.

[newmom2008]

I am not the kind of person to go around smiling and laughing and putting on a show of having a good time just to please someone who is extroverted or extremely extroverted.

Same here. My extroverted friends expected me to smile and laugh constantly! I could not keep up this ruse even if I wanted to. Its not "me".

[Sameer]

Posted by: Ms.Jackson     
I would like to know if any introverts have witnessed an extrovert who came across a small group (maybeof  introverts) and did not get ANY of the attention they wanted-no one laughs at their jokes, no one responds to what they say, etc  How do they behave? I feel that it can be quite scary, almost dangerous sight to see.

That seems ridiculous. Who the hell are they to make us do something ?
Everyone have their own rules.

I already mentioned in another post, that we must to do ? we want.We must not do something afraiding of someone.All Introverts are not same and the same goes for Extroverts. Most of the Extroverts do expect the attention they want. Some extroverts dont expect like that. These type of extroverts can understand the introvert type.But whatever it is, there is no need for us to afraid of them.

I always do ? i want. I dont afraid when iam surrounded by extroverts.I will talk if anyone talks with me,but i wont be friend with them. I will start talk to an Introvert and if i like,i will be friend with that person. Opposite friendship also works. An introvert can be friend with an extrovert who can understand the introvert type,who dont make fun of introvert,who dont expect any attention from an introvert. Those type of extroverts are less. And if any extrovert try to make fun of me, you know...I wont be quiet. I will make their mouth shut. Not all introverts can do this,i  know that because some introverts are shy, afraid. That's what i said before, All Introverts are not same and not all Extroverts are same. My sister is an extrovert. She talks with many people. But she has 3 or 4 best friends. Now that is the difference because mostly extroverts use to have bunch of friends.

So Ms.Jackson, Are you are afraid of Extroverts ?

[Ms.Jackson]

Posted by: Ms.Jackson     
I would like to know if any introverts have witnessed an extrovert who came across a small group (maybeof  introverts) and did not get ANY of the attention they wanted-no one laughs at their jokes, no one responds to what they say, etc  How do they behave? I feel that it can be quite scary, almost dangerous sight to see.

That seems ridiculous. Who the hell are they to make us do something ?
Everyone have their own rules.

I already mentioned in another post, that we must to do ? we want.We must not do something afraiding of someone.All Introverts are not same and the same goes for Extroverts. Most of the Extroverts do expect the attention they want. Some extroverts dont expect like that. These type of extroverts can understand the introvert type.But whatever it is, there is no need for us to afraid of them.

I always do ? i want. I dont afraid when iam surrounded by extroverts.I will talk if anyone talks with me,but i wont be friend with them. I will start talk to an Introvert and if i like,i will be friend with that person. Opposite friendship also works. An introvert can be friend with an extrovert who can understand the introvert type,who dont make fun of introvert,who dont expect any attention from an introvert. Those type of extroverts are less. And if any extrovert try to make fun of me, you know...I wont be quiet. I will make their mouth shut. Not all introverts can do this,i  know that because some introverts are shy, afraid. That's what i said before, All Introverts are not same and not all Extroverts are same. My sister is an extrovert. She talks with many people. But she has 3 or 4 best friends. Now that is the difference because mostly extroverts use to have bunch of friends.

So Ms.Jackson, Are you are afraid of Extroverts ?

to be perfectly honest with you.

yes I am. Certain type of extroverts intimidate me, make me feel very uncomfortable.

The reason why is because I have not had good experiences with extroverts. the ones that I came across will say whatever pops into their head, and sometimes the statements are insensitive and very superficial.   I tend to feel very insecure and guarded around them because I fear they will say something that will hurt me. since they are extroverts whatever they have to say about you is usually broadcasted which can be humiliating

[FallenofTrack]

to be perfectly honest with you.

yes I am. Certain type of extroverts intimidate me, make me feel very uncomfortable.

The reason why is because I have not had good experiences with extroverts. the ones that I came across will say whatever pops into their head, and sometimes the statements are insensitive and very superficial.   I tend to feel very insecure and guarded around them because I fear they will say something that will hurt me. since they are extroverts whatever they have to say about you is usually broadcasted which can be humiliating

Ms.Jackson, I find your honesty to be so great.  I can definitely relate to this comment that you made.  I haven't exactly had the best experiences with some extroverts, either.  I have also felt uncomfortable and intimidated by some of them.  The extroverts that I tend to feel uncomfortable around are the ones who are very decisive and firm and tend to be parental with other people. Even when I try to assert myself with this particular type of extrovert, he or she (it tends to be a woman) doesn't take me seriously. I am more slow to make decisions and take action and I feel like these particular extroverts think that I am weak because of my personality.  I also think that this particular type of extrovert is very humiliating because they tend to be loud with their emotions and opinions.

[Sameer]

yes I am. Certain type of extroverts intimidate me, make me feel very uncomfortable.

I dont afraid of anyone.Wherever i go. Iam the same. I know not all are introverts are same.I already explained about this in 2 topics of yours.
I can understand about you. Please dont worry Ms.Jackson. I dont have any friend as i have not seen any introvert here as i like. If i have seen introvert like you in the place where iam, That introvert dont need to afraid of extroverts because I will be there and would be a friend. When we have friend as we like with us, it will be very comfortable.So Ms.Jackson, you dont have any introvert friend there same as me ?
 

[hypnotized]

Strong wills, obsession, diligence, intelligence, confidence, and self discipline are strong factors to decide your success.. those have nothing to do with introverted/extroverted personality traits..

[Quiet]

They throw a tantrum and get exactly what they want.

[JanZ]

Ms Jackson,

You may have encountered an extroverted narcissist.  I used to work for one and this described him perfectly.

http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9095798/Narcissists_at_work_How_to_deal_with_arrogant_controlling_manipulative_bullies

He was very personable but when he got angry he was scary.

Jan

[newmom2008]

I had to deal with an extrovert this morning at church, in our class. Its a small class of about 10 people. She started telling a story, but didn't stop. She wanted front and center stage to talk about her story, for the entire class. I eventually just looked away from her, and held my gaze somewhere else.

I've always been taught its polite to give someone full attention when they are speaking, however, in this situation, I quit doing that. She had had more than her fair share of time to tell her story,and other people in the class wanted to talk.