When people complain you are too quiet

[newmom2008]

I mostly think that a lot of extroverts are too insecure to be quiet for a few seconds and enjoy the quieter side of life rather than always needs to be stimulated and shocked and surprised.

As you can see with the new movies coming out, there always has to be some kind of stimulation (new and improved from the last) that get people "buzzing."  Most of us, some innies included, are "entertainment drug addicts."  Those who are down-to-earth and simple should be viewed as refreshing and soothing in this zany world.

I think introverts don't provide enough "drama" that other people seem to crave these days. If you don't give them drama, they will label you a bore.

[Quiet]

I just saw an old movie titled Hitlerr on TMC starring Richard Basehart in the title role.  All the shouting he did for that movie must have made his voice hoarse.  Anyway, it just illustrated that the person with the loudest voice and rudest manner seems to win the argument.

[Rachael]

My entire life I have been berated for being so quiet. A lot of people assume that I'm antisocial, shy, or stuck up when really, I just don't like talking. Even my parents used to try to get me to be more social and throw me into situations that I was not comfortable in at all because they were worried that something was wrong with me. Luckily, they realized that I'm very introverted and its perfectly normal. The thing is, I'm wondering, when you're in a social situation how do you react when someone asks you why aren't you talking? Or, why are you so quiet all the time? I usually say I don't know, I just don't have anything to talk about or I'm just quiet. Sometimes people criticize me and make me feel uncomfortable because I don't talk. But how do you react to things like this? How do you make people realize that you're a listener, and be okay with that?

[Alex]

@ Rachael

Tough question, because after being asked inevitable you feel a bit uncomfortable and put on the spot. Maybe you can smile and say, you are just listening. Anyhow, I get that 'you'r so quiet' a lot and it surprises many, because if I talk one to one with somebody or need to do a presentation, I can come across as very extroverted/outgoing.

My worst experience of this 'You'r so quiet' incidents was when somebody rudely asked, 'Do you have a depression'? Anyhow, all of these times being asked this, my main line of thinking has been, I wish you'd just leave me alone - I don't need your concern, even if it is well intentioned - I am perfectly fine, hrrrmph!

I gather though that for extroverts, silence seems unnatural - especially when attending events that are supposed to be social - Just staying together enjoying each other's company in silence or having quiet deep conversations seems perplexing - instead, many will compete to be the wittiest, most interesting, cool etc . Often I wish though I could tell some chatterbox just to shut up for a moment...I have a very dear, but also very chatty friend who I once recall telling whilst driving, if perhaps he wouldn't mind to rest his mouthpiece a bit since he had been talking non-stop for 2 hours or so - after that, he start humming, ugh...It seems like some extroverts just don't like silence

[Rachael]

@ Alex

Yeah you're right. I guess I just have to learn to accept that people are inevitably going to ask me questions. I think I was venting my frustrations yesterday. Just like how you were saying that you had to tell your friend one time to shut his trap, haha. I wanted to tell everyone to leave me alone. I used to have a really good friend that's the complete opposite of me and she would talk and move around nonstop. It wore me out and sometimes I had to say, "Okay I'm going home now." Haha. Anyways, thank you for your advice.

-Rachael

[INTROSPECTIVE]

am glad to have found this forum. i have also experienced everything i see here. it is annoying and hurtful to be judged like that. i see extroverts as the chicken hawk (from the cartoon) jumping around, talking nonstop about nothing important or interesting and breathing my air. unfortunately, i have to deal with them. extroverting is EXHAUSTING.