Highly sensitive vs. introvert

[Carol]

I am currently reading "The Introvert Advantage" (great book!), and I read "The Highly Sensitive Person" a few months ago.  I'm having difficulty grasping the difference between introverts and highly sensitive people, they seem very similar to me. Can anyone give me an explanation?

Carol

[terrylee]

Carol,



I have not read "The Highly Sensitive Person" but I would like to offer some insight to the extent that I am qualified. Both of these distinctions apply to me and I have recognized and overcome them at different times and in various ways. For example, I remember being so shy and sensitive that I hated saying anything or being set up in public displays. Over the years I have slowly come out of that cloud of being too sensitive. However, the introvert way of processing and the incubation method of gaining enery lingers despite my developed ability to interact in public and with strangers. Perhaps the "sensitive" stresses the emotive while the "introvert" stresses the cognitive and equilibrium balance. I think your question is a good one and it made me feel good to consider it.

[Marti Laney]

Dear Carol, Good question--actually, Elaine Aron and I have exchanged several e-mails attempting to noodle out what the differences are because both innies and outies can be highly sensitive--perhaps you are correct Terry--it's emotional vs. cognitive and energy areas--I am going to integrate more into my next book on kids about emotions--as new research is coming out in the field about the various brain pathways--Thanks for the excellent questions--Marti   

[Benjamin]

Hi Carol,

         I have also been called highly sensitive by certain members of my family,but I no longer take it as an insult. I agree that it seems to be more of an emotional thing. I think that highly sensitive people are much more aware of the undercurrent of energy that is going on in a room full of people. I think that we pick up on a lot of the emotions others are feeling and become drained/confused by the fact that our instincts are telling us one thing, but the person/people in question are presenting quite a different picture on the outside. I compare it to the Betazed counselor on Star Trek:The Next Generation. She is an empath and talks about the duality she senses in other people and the confusion involved. The person seems outwardly confident, but is raging with anxiety on the inside. If you ever get the chance to see an episode called Tin Man, it's a wonderful example of psychic overload.I think highly sensitive people pick up on the inner emotions of others and it's very draining and confusing. I've had to learn to do meditations before going to large parties. I picture a protective light around me that will only allow in what I want to receive. I have even imagined an armadillo shell around myself. It helps.  I hope some of this will make sense to you.

Sincerely,

                Benjamin

[Marti Laney]

Hi Benjamin, The empath on Star Trek is a great example of a sensitive person--I have also been called "too sensitive", and now I just say "Yes, I am and folks actually pay me for that skill."  It usually gives them pause.  And you are right, those of us who are tuned into others, pick up the gap between the conscious and unconscious feelings in others.  I like the pre-party meditation and protective light but personally I perfer the turtle shell to the armadillo shell.  Thanks for your imput--Marti   

[Pats]

These are great questions y'all.  Which leads to another one...

Why do people tell us to quit being so sensitive?  Especially in this day and age, I thought sensitivity -- and more's the better -- is supposed to be a good thing?

 

 

Highly sensitive vs. introvert

[inspirit]

Hi

   I am both introvert and Highly Sensitive. I sometimes see this as a "Curse". Reading "The Highly Sensitive Person" and "The Introvert Advantage" has helped me a great deal in my negative thinking about being an Innie/Sensitive. I've learned so much about myself. I'm now reading Marti's book on the introverted child because although my seven year old in an extrovert (atleast mostly) I was an introverted child and I need to heal all of the negative things that were put into my head about who I was (and still am). Having an extroverted family (for the most part) who didi not understand me, really damaged my self-esteem. Thanks Marti for these two wonderful books!

     Lisa   

[Stitcher]

Being new to this site, I have just heard about these books, so have not read anything on these subjects.  In saying that, tell me, can one be highly sensitive yet not appear sensitive?

I have been told all my life, on a regular basis, not only from my family but others, that I am unfeeling or appear unfeeling.  I would almost believe them, except when I am around to much emotion wheather it be happiness, anger, sadness, it effects me so much I need to withdraw.  I understand this is part of being an introvert too, but if feels like I absorbe the emotions and energy around me, where in the privacy of my own home it all comes out.  I do not show my emotions in public, which works well as a someone who works in an emergency ward, but it works on me inside.

Is one an introvert from birth, or do life experiences make you introverted?  So many questions.  I suppose I should read the book and the answers I seek may be there.

Thanks for the any quick answers you can provide before the answers from books come.