Author Topic: Getting her to take my hand....  (Read 2472 times)

IRUV

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Getting her to take my hand....
« on: February 16, 2014, 11:05:58 AM »
Hello everyone.  This is kinda long so bare with me. I would love some advice about a woman I met at work. She is very introverted, but I managed to gain her trust very quickly. We're both in our early twenties. She's an avid reader and gardener.  She will accept outing requests from me and enjoys them a lot.  During those hangouts, she has no problems with me holding her at times.  I'd love to date her.  The only problem is that she was treated badly by a guy she dated back in her high school days and not only that, she wants to move out of her parents house and become more independent before even considering a relationship. And the part that drives me nuts it's that she seems to absolutely NOT LIKE KISSING or INTIMACY!! I don't think she is disinterested in me though.  She makes time for me.  And also, I'm very fond of softly brushing her cheeks when speaking to her and she always blushes.  At work, upon returning from break, sometimes I'd find her wandering through my department and then walk away quickly upon seeing me.  Eyes fixated on me the whole time:)  She has very few friends. I'm the only one she really converses with at work.  She doesn't flirt, but blushes when i do...I just don't know how to read this girl ??? I didn't know where else to discuss this :/  I'd know when to give up and move on if it were most other women, and if she gave me the impression that she did not want my affection or wanted to get away from me,  it'd let her go.   But I've never met anyone like this girl.  She forgives all of my quirks big and small. Is this normal and to be expected when pursuing a relationship with an extreme introvert?  I would love to get closer to her.    I wonder what you all have to say.....:)
« Last Edit: February 16, 2014, 05:25:23 PM by IRUV »

alanjoy

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Re: Getting her to take my hand....
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2014, 04:46:57 AM »
It's sad that no one has taken the time to give you a response to such an important question.

In general being ignored seems to be the norm on this forum for over a year now. 

If your girlfriend has experienced sexual trauma of any sort it would be wise for her to see a professional who could help her. Emotional trauma is as significant as physical trauma to the brain. If untreated the brain cells contract and die.

I can only wish you the best when it comes to finding love and romance but as it is with all of us we have to be as concerned about the person we love as we are about our desire for their love.

Loving and being loved are equal domains.

If she won't discuss the issue with her I say lick your wounds and walk away. You can't force someone to open up and trust. You must respect her choice.

One last painful thought. Work romances are very risky for exactly the situation you are describing.

It will be hard for you to avoid the painful feelings of rejection that are triggered when you see her.