Author Topic: Detachment  (Read 462 times)

Charlie

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Detachment
« on: June 30, 2011, 04:43:43 PM »
After reading Alex's post about CBT I met with a social worker to start to practice CBT.

The counsellor has a basic understanding of introversion.

Two issues came up that I associate with Introversion. One is the ability to exhaust a subject matter ad infinitum.

The other, and this is my question to fellow introverts, is detachment from what goes on in my mind from what is going on with my body.

I'm certain there is pathology that affects me but I wanted to know if you think detachment is a common trait for introverts?

Alex

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Re: Detachment
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2011, 10:49:49 PM »
I hope you will find it useful :-)

I agree with both your observations. Robert Leahy explains it in the folllowing way. We ruminate a lot to try to get some kind of closure, but which then usually always is elusive and just prolongs the pain. The second is actually related to this. The reason we ruminate is because we try not to feel - it seems a common trait that people who suffer from the issues CBT addresses is that they have a fear of their own emotions and try to surpress them. It plainly feels better to ruminate and go into a thinking/problem solving mode rather than feel an unwanted feeling. Unfortunately it usually just has the opposite effect, by pushing back the uncomfortable emotions they just linger on and our ability to handle them decreases so when another trigger event occurs, they just become worse and more uncomfortable. So the advice is just to allow yourself to feel, try not to fight the emotions, but just go into it - instead of swimming upstream, just float along

Good luck and let us know how it goes. I would be very interested. As I have mentioned in the past, I have found it extremely useful. On youtube there is a whole lecture by Robert Leahy, if you haven't checked it out already, I can warmly recommend it. It takes about 1 hour but it is time well invested I think. I will definantly revisit it soon again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQKxwFXEpzQ&feature=related

Charlie

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Re: Detachment
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2011, 03:58:50 AM »
Alex,

Do you think detachment is more prevalent with introverts?

Alex

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Re: Detachment
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2011, 09:14:56 AM »
Charlie, in short, yes

As I wrote in my previous post going into 'thinking' mode is a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions. And as introverts tend to 'think' more, I think this shows a clear link to detachment. Eg. emotions are physical sensations(pleasant as well as unpleasant) and if you have an unpleasant physical sensation(emotion) due to whatever reason, you can say that you flee(detach) into trying to 'think' about it - or in other words moving the focus from your body to your mind. The general recommendation is, to not be afraid of one's emotions or think that one can not bear just a temporary physical discomfort, so one should not  try to avoid it but rather go into the feeling. As Leahy says, these sensations are just temporary arousals, similar to arousal experienced from exercise to give an example.

One interesting exercise is to note what events, thoughts etc triggers these uncomfortable emotions and when you feel it. It is a good learning experience, eg. taking a note of which situations, events trigger these emotions and the recommendation is to act on it just at that moment the emotions are triggered, even if it means deliberately invoking some uncomfortable physical sensation.

To give an example, for example asking for directions and going ahead and doing it, even if you hesitate, feel slightly uncomfortable(aroused) doing it. There are plenty of other examples, making a certain phonecall at the time you fear it, speaking up and taking a stand etc

I learnt from doing this that the emotional triggers for me(or perhaps I should say, used to trigger very much) was a fear of rejection. By learning what the root cause is of your 'problems' you can much better repair it
« Last Edit: July 01, 2011, 09:17:26 AM by Alex »

Charlie

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Re: Detachment
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2011, 03:54:52 PM »
Good link to Leahy, Alex.

Right on target with CBT I'm involved with.