Careers.

[trapper]

I fit the right-brained introvert description perfectly. I'm not sure if that's the reason for this, but here's the problem I have: The idea of most jobs and careers is like nails on a chalkboard to me. The only big dream I have is to be a fiction writer -- something that I feel guilty about because it seems unrealistic, like dreaming you'll win the lottery someday. It doesn't pay the bills and probably never will. But I can't really imagine anything that would be as fulfilling as that, or at all -- provided it pays the bills with a minimum of entrepreneurialship (which I have none of). Day jobs have been an overwhelming strspamle, knowing that I want something better and that all signs point to "Not likely". What's even worse is thinking that the overwhelming jobs are all there is. Nothing in the Occupational Outlook Handbook or Graduate School catalogs catches my eye as something I'd feel comfortable investing two years of that overwhelming labor into, plus a debt, when the likelihood that the resulting careers will be fulfilling isn't very high. Have I gone beyond the description of introversion? What kind of advice can you offer?

[gillian00]

Trapper, I understand what you are saying.  I am a CPA and have been doing something in the field of accounting for 20 years.  To make matters worse, things are changing where I am to make my job very introvert unfriendly.  So, I'm thinking I need a career change, but have no idea where to start.  From where I'm standing, I'd say figure out a way to do what you think you'd love to do. ... Right now, I just need to figure that out for myself!

Good luck. 

[willowhirl]

Hi Trapper,

Well I envy you for at least having even an idea of what your dream career is.  I've NEVER had a sense of what my "bliss" (as Joseph Campbell describes) is.  

My question for you is--how seriously have you looked into the possibility of being a fiction writer?  Do you have good writing skills?  Do you understand what is involved in being a professional writer?  Do you have an idea of what kind of fiction you'd like to write? How strong is this dream of yours?  Do you have a tendency to put up STOP signs before moving in the first place (i.e, are you a "Ya, but" person?..."Ya, but that isn't realistic because of x."  "Ya, but it won't work because of y."  "Ya, but..." "Ya, but..."  "Ya, but..."etc.)

While you are having to 'tolerate' the world of work as you know it now (you have a lot of company--as many people are not in work they enjoy.  I realize this may be more taxing for some than others, though) , keep working towards your dream--unless you can 'prove' (and I do mean prove) that you absolutely do not have the talent for it. 

Visit Barbara Sher's forums.  There are many people there who have interests in being writers.  Lots of good resources have been posted by forum members.  Do a search (you don't have to be a member to do it) and check some of those posts out.  Here's the link to her board:

http://www.barbarasher.com/boards/

About.com also has lots of resources for budding writers.

http://freelancewrite.about.com/od/creattivewriting/index.htm?terms=fiction+writing

 

[Elle]

I am an actor. This presents many challenges for me regarding being an introvert. My main challenge is the fact that my career relies, heavily (if no soley) on self-promotion, which of course, I feel very uncomfortable with, and at times, don't know how to even go about it. Marti's book details how to effectively network and self-promote in an office environment, but not for those who are self-employed. Does anybody have any sspamestions on how to comfortably self-promote myself? Does anybody have a similiar career and are facing similiar challenges? I get very scared that I might never have a career based on my introverted tenedencies, although I do believe in myself and my talent very much. I do, however, become very frustrated with my quiet and reserved nature, because so much of this business relies on being (rather) aggresively extroverted.



Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks so much.

[willowhirl]

Elle,

Your question intrigued me, so I thought I'd just do a quick net search and lo and behold there is a non-credit course being offered (February 26th) via New York University that is titled "Self-Promotion for Introverts".  It's a one day deal, costing $105. So...if you are anywhere New York...might be worth checking into.

http://www.scps.nyu.edu/departments/course.jsp?courseId=51587

BUT if you aren't in the NY area, evidently the instructor is a personal coach...and she may be available for an independent consult:

http://www.nancyancowitz.com/selfpromo.htm

Here are some other links that may be helpful to you:

http://www.careerjournal.com/columnists/perspective/20050117-fmp.html

http://www.careerjournal.com/jobhunting/networking/19980615-tullier.html

I found them quickly by just googling "self-promotion + introverts". There seems to be quite a bit out there on this topic...how much would be pertinent to your specific needs...who knows.  But, heck, it was great finding out that someone has a course developed.

I'm always skeptical about the value (given the cost) of these types of courses, but maybe even googling the coach's/instructors name could be frutiful.

 

 

[Elle]

Willowhirl,



Thanks so much for your reply. I do not live in NYC, but plan on moving there after grad school -- so it's good to know that there are workshops and courses regarding this topic.



Thanks again, I will definitely check those sites out: Elle

[Harry P]

Hi Elli, if you're moving to NYC and haven't already got a place, you might also check out my Rooms To Let thread. I think it's now on p.2 for the current month.

Careers.

[summersonshine]

I am introverted and i too have trouble finding the perfect career.  It seems like I have been searching since high school, and nothing good has come up.  I have not really enjoyed any job that i have had.  I always got good grades in school and was "the smart one" in class most of the time, but now that i am an adult (24 years old) I feel like a failure in the work department.  I have an associates degree and a cosmetology license and i am currently working in a salon, which pays my bills.  But i hate it!  I did 14 haircuts today and now i feel like i want to pull my own hair out!  Plus my husband is an outie so i get plenty of socialization through him.  At work the people keep coming and coming and i am becoming bitter!  I used to like people more before i started working here, now i can hardly stand some of them.  Is there any hope for me?  I don't have much money as i am already paying a lot for my cosmetology school loan, so i don't want to waste more money on more school if it doesn't bring me any closer to satisfying work.  Any sspamestions would be great!

[GroovyCD]

Summersonshine, I hear you. I am recently out of college and having a tough time finding a job I can stand. It seems like there is a lot of bias against innies in the "real world." In high school and college you're on top of the world, because solitary study is a huge aspect of being in school, but an unfortunate reality is that most employers don't understand our strengths.
I'm working on a cover letter for a research position I am applying for, and in it I mention I like to help people from "behind the scenes." I had my mom proofread it, and she sspamested I take this part out. "Why," I said, "Because society is biased against introverts?" "Exactly," she replied. It is a sad day when mainstream society cannot appreciate introverts even in a capacity when their introverted strengths are ideal.

[summersonshine]

Yes it is tough sometimes.  Thankfully God booted me out of that salon job (I had a blowup at work when I was forced to work with the flu and a fever and this horrible, HORRIBLE lady came in and complained so rudely about her husband's haircut after he had already paid and tipped me and was totally happy with it- anyway I basically told her that I would be happy to leave the salon because then I wouldn't have to deal with white trash people like her.  And I was bawling.  She was the devil.)  I am SO glad to be gone from there and honestly hate doing hair, except for family and close friends.  But when I think about the fact that I have this skill and could be making some nice money if only I was an outie, it is frustrating.  So I just choose to not think about it.  I am in a part time job right now in a quiet office that suits me much better.  I don't seem to be able to handle a full time job which is also frustrating.  Plus my husband thinks it is "all in my mind".  So I just don't talk about it.  I am much happier now to be out of that salon, though.  And I must say at various times I tried to deny all this introvert stuff and mold myself to an outie.  Well let me tell you I was miserable and it didn't work- not even one bit!  So instead of being an unhappy innie trying to fit into an outie mold, I am a very happy innie just being myself.  And for me I find a key is not thinking how different I am from some others, cause that just causes turmoil.  Instead I just accept myself as I am (most days, of course a work in progress!) and take the breaks and rests I need!

[GroovyCD]

That is frustrating when those around you think you're making too big a deal of your introversion, or are just making it up. My extroverted brother is constantly making references to how some day I will discover that introversion does not exist. And it is difficult to be yourself when it would be much easier to succeed in today's job market if you were extroverted. It was interesting how Marti noted in the book that she sometimes thinks introverts would belong better in another era. Despite being progressive on the issue of women's rights, I sometimes wonder if life would be easier if I lived in an era when women were expected to stay home rather than engage with the world.

[summersonshine]

I too wish I could afford to be a homemaker right now.  I grew up with a strong motherly presence in my family.  My mom baked homemade bread, had lots of gardens, made homemade soap, and even homeschooled us some years.  She was always learning about something new and interesting.  She is still young and recently quit her job to stay home again, although she just has one 18 year old at home.  She just likes that life. 
For me that would be a luxury at this point, and I really don't work that much anyways which suits me well.  I have great hours at my job.  But someday later on down the road when I have kids and more income I would revel in the homemaker life.  I think I was born for it.  Maybe I will coax myself to write something interesting and make some money that way.  I think my dream life would be to be a homemaker in all senses of the word and also a writer.  That would be my ideal life.

[Rani]

Wow. After reading the book, and reading everything on this site, I don't feel so alone which feels sooooo good. I too am right brained, and am having a REALLY hard time at work. I am 26 and have been working for the past 2 years, and can't stand it no more. I have a masters, but it is no use. I know work is not going well and when my contract is over, it won't be renewed, which I am relieved for. I do alot of creative writing, and that is when I feel the happiest. Alone, at 2 in the morning, on my cp. Or a whole afternoon at starbucks typing away. I can write about anything and everything, but concentrating on anything else is impossible. I loved doing research in grad school, and when I graduated, I knew I would hate the real world. I agree, introverts do a lot better in school, and I always excelled (except for clinical work which drained me). I even joked with my parents that I would just get married and become a housewife, but in all honestly, I would be so happy doing that and writing all day. In some ways, I feel anxious about being an introvert, and still wish I wasn't. I am considering going into accounting but working from home, I realize my creativity won't be of any use, but at least I will be alone to do my work, at home, and I can reward myself with my "creative" time after. If anyone has any practical options, please share.

[GroovyCD]

After nearly a year long strspamle (I graduated from college last spring) I have decided to go to school to become a paralegal. Like your accounting idea, Rani, this decision is a fusion of practicality and the opportunity to work independently.

I've always wanted use my work to help others, and I think this will be a good way to do it, since I would like to get into nonprofit law. It feels a bit hypocritical to want to help, but not to want to have a lot of direct contact with people, but I guess everyone's different. Maybe your writing is your way to help out form behind the scenes.