Introversion, ADHD, and Addiction

[TJM147]

Hello all:

This is my first post. I loved Introvert Advantage. It explained so much about myself that I didn't even know.  For 45 years or so, I saw myself as an Extravert, always trying to be in the center of attention and the limelight. Trying to get energy outside myself.  But I was always exhausted and depressed. I love academia, art and creativity but with the early onset of my addictions, I focused on "fitting in".

Finally, I'm learning to find the energy within. My doctor has prescribed ritalin for me as I have ADHD. I am able to focus on somethings but I get so distracted (over stimulated?) I'm useless. With the meds, I can focus better than I ever have. I am in recovery for my addictions and codependency. I have found that the ritalin actually helps me to stay focused so that I'm not out there looking for energy/attention.   My wife is an innie too and we love "holing up" for the weekend and just hanging out together. Our home is such a sancturary...it really supports my recovery.

So I'm wondering if the addictions and codependency are somehow coping mechanism for our introversion. Not to say that "outies" aren't ever addicted but that for us it is about "looking for love in all the wrong places"?

Any thoughts on this?

I think there is a connection between the three.  When "innies" try to be like the "outies", my opinion is that there is fertil ground for addictions to take root?

Tried to pack a lot into my first post as I've been processing the book and trying to integrate it with the other research I've done so I hope this didn't ramble too much.

Great site, can't wait to read all your feedback.

Tom

[radames]

I am an actor so I love to pour myself into a particular character who may not be my normal expression of behavior.  I love to perform a really high energy part, like a car salesman, or an animated character, it is like I am a child again, playing, enjoying, having fun.  It is weird for me.  In these times I should be pretty exhausted but, on the contrary, I am energized because I am doing what I love.

[TJM147]

Radames,

I understand what you are saying about acting, I was in "The Man who Came to Dinner" playing Mr. Stanley, a great character part, and just had a great time with him. Especially when he gets the phone bill and has to confront Mr. Whiteside.  Some friends from my work came to see the play and two years later they are still talking about it.

Playing with those kinds of over-the-top characters is a real  kick.

Tom

[Rani]

I think there is a connection between being an innie and addictions and even ADHD. So many times I'v found myself thinking how much easier it would be if I could pop a pill that could give me enough to get through the day or at least concentrate on the topic at hand. But I have my dad as an excellent example of how bad that can  be, as he is an innie as well and had an alcohol problem. Addictions are coping mechanisms in my experience, but I promised myself that I would find appropriate ways to handle my innie characateristics before anything. I'v started sharing some of the book with my father in the hopes that it will help him make some self-realizations.

[sysop]

I think there is a connection, at least with me. As I reflect on my life, I can see the trail.

I have always been uncomfortable in large groups - and I come from a large family - alcoholic family to boot! The first time I ever drank, I got squashed. I remember the original wonderful feeling of being a part of everything, finally, and then I was totally drunk.

That pattern continued. I also used "speed" in my early twenties - which actually help me drink more without getting drunk.

As an adult, same problem. It is not how often I drink, it is how much I drink when I do. It seems that the problem happens when I am in a group - I get lost somewhere,  but I think I am actually overstimulated - but at the same time, I finally feel a part of the party!

I just came to this understanding in the last few days, so I am not exactly sure how I will use it. I also came to understand the "innie" thing as well. So I have a lot to think about...

I have a super bowl party to go to this Sunday - it should be interesting. At the  very least, I plan to observe my feelings and reactions with my new found knowledge - and I plan to not drink to diminish my anxiety.

Wish me luck and lots of information.

PS - In retrospect, I think my father was an Innie and that was the root of his alcoholism. He wanted so terribly to succeed, and to do so he had to push himself into the world - being an Innie - he used alcohol. In addition, misunderstanding himself, he wanted a large family - he had 5 kids. That is enough to send an innie running screaming from the room!

[radames]

That is SOOOOO funny because I used to think that I wanted a lot of children.  Now I am realizing that this would have been suicide for me. Lol.  I think that ONE is pushing it.

[HelpDeskNinja]

Well I can't really speak towards any sort of chemical addiction, but I'm definitely very introverted and still (in my mid 20s) have bouts with ADHD.  I did have a problem with the so called "internet addiction" in high school, but I couldn't earnestly say that that continued after I graduated.  I due spend more time online now days, but not at the detriment of other things.  Perhaps ironically, online's where I get the majority of my social interaction (such as it is).  I'll turn off the MMO every so often to go see a movie or read a book (like The Introvert Advantage =)) or what not.  I do still have a hard time focusing or concentrating on something for any length of time though.  And it's very, very easy for me to get distracted.  I avoid getting cable TV just for that reason.

[radames]

I know what you mean ninja.  My family was pretty much brought up on cable TV and it tended to be a family gathering to sit around and watch Dr. Quinn:  Medicine Woman, and a little bit of The Waltons.  It was fun though, but I think it definitely became an addiction for me.  Now, however, TV is rather foreign for me as I am a trucker and driving all of the time.  However, the Internet has taken its place I think lol.