Author Topic: The Books Are Available Now  (Read 16116 times)

Web Master

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The Books Are Available Now
« on: March 26, 2007, 02:34:51 PM »
The books are in stock at Amazon.com and other bookstores.  I got my copy.  I have not finished it yet, but have already put a couple of things I learned to use with positive results!

Linda

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Re: The Introvert in Love
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2007, 11:45:32 AM »
Hi,

I have not read this book yet but I look forward to reading it.  I am married to the Patron Saint of Introverts (I guess he must compete with Greta Garbo on this one).  I, too, am mildly introverted.   How well I remember our strspamle to figure out a way to make a marriage work.  We had one difficult  conversation, in particular, in which he expressed a feeling of desperation at the thought of coming home an finding someone there!  It was at that point that we began to actively explore the concept of living separately.  We took about a year to sit with that option.  I needed to absolutely that I wasn't saying "yes" but really meaning "no".  I had been previously married for 25 years and had not spent any time living alone.  I was not certain I could do it and not be resentful.  Turns out, I, too, am great at living alone.  We married five years ago and have lived separately ever since.  We see each other and talk on the phone with a frequency that would kill the ordinary extrovert.  I will say, though, that the white space between us produces a deeply satisfying sweetness when we do connect.  Five minutes with him is better than a 1000 elsewhere.

An addendum.  I am a mental health counselor.  I regularly give out the Introvert Advantage to my introverted clients.  It's kind of a mission to help free introverts from trying-to-be-an-extrovert hell.    I am so grateful to have this resource.  Bless you, Marti, for writing it.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2007, 10:30:46 PM by Linda »

totalinnie

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Re: The Books Are Available Now
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2007, 09:51:29 AM »
Linda, I am separated from my spouse right now, and though we hope to work out things and get back together eventually, I DO relish the time just with the kids, or when he has them, the time to myself. I can relate to that peace you feel...it works...and yes I think  it does help us to talk better, etc. when we do see eachother.

Kudos to you for passing out the book to your clients! I wish you were my counselor 10 years ago! (Maybe the book wasn't written back then though) and Marti I thank you again for The Intorvert Advantage...it had brought so much peace in my life...just being able to accept myself as I am!! THANKS! I look forward to this book on relationships!


pp999222

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Re: The Books Are Available Now
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2007, 05:23:07 AM »
I am 3/4 of the way through this book and I keep chuckling and nodding my head at the accuracy of the descriptions. I am the introverted one (not severely so), and my husband is a true extrovert. I wonder, though if anyone else has experienced the problem of socialization involving alcohol too often - it seems to be another factor that separates my husband and me - he and his friends love to drink, and I tend to stop at 2 or maybe 3. I don't know if it is due to the extroversion, or something separate entirely. (No alcoholism involved). I beleive when you are intoxicated, it seems perfectly normal to stay out till 2:00 or 3:00 am, but my husband may do that even if he were completely sober. I keep trying to analyze his motivation.

We have been married 15 years and have hardly had any problems with out "innie"/"outie" personalities until the last 2 years. I feel more inclined to "settle down" and stay home lately, and with our kids growing older and needing us less, he seems more inclined to  get out and do something fun all the time. I don't want to lead separate lives, because I feel it is dangerous to socialize without spouse so often - could lead to straying. Lots to consider.


adz619

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Re: The Books Are Available Now
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2007, 07:26:54 AM »
I am an introverted child and I am considering buying the book, however it would take a while as I would have to persuade my parents that the book was for my type.

Adam

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Re: The Books Are Available Now
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2007, 05:38:08 AM »
I have explained to my parents countless times that I am an introvert and that the description fits perfectly. Why am I still discriminated against.
An extrovert in the class asks, "Why are you so quiet?"
The Introvert (me) remains silent.

SueC254

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Re: The Books Are Available Now
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2007, 09:34:44 PM »
Whilst ever we are outnumbered by extroverts, we will always have to defend ourselves.  At least with Marti's help we can learn to be ourselves and accept the way we are.  As the saying goes, "what other people think of me is none of my business".

I'm an introvert married to an introvert - supposedly a bad combination.  I didn't know that until recently of course.  I don't know how I ended up with another innie, as my friends have almost all been extroverts.  I need a book about innie/innie relationships!!

jinx

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Re: The Books Are Available Now
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2008, 11:13:27 PM »
Hi there pp999222
My husband is a very extroverted man! For many years we battled with his drinking problem when socialising. It became so bad that I threatened to leave him if he EVER drank and drove again. One night he came home so drunk he was ill throughout the night. I didn't go into any lecture or rant. I was typically introverted, going through the strategy and processes required to separate. On his own volition he gave up ALL alcohol from that moment on! (and has been sober for nearly 5 years now). His maturity and understanding saved our marriage and probably his life.
When we got married, my mother's advice was "Let there be spaces in your togetheness." This has proably been the best advice I could have been given. I often say to him I think he must "go out". He loves nothing better than meeting new people in a noisy environment. He goes and has fun and gets re-energised without feeling guilty that I am uncomfortable  and nagging to come home(we have a home or phone at midnight understanding to do away with the worry if he has been in an accident).   I can then have a quiet evening, reading, painting, listening to classical music, soaking in a bath or even an early night, without him feeling ignored. Equaling we often have separate holidays (we do also have shared ones) when we need rejuvenating. He goes where he can do, do, do, meet, meet, meet, do and meet some more. I go where there are no people and I can simply be! I realise that for this kind of relationship to work, it  is our fundamental trust in each other and the complete honesty with which we share everthing that allows us to have so much separate time. It is only fair that if I ask him for alone time and expect him to understand that I am not ignoring him or find his company bad, so too I must be able to give him the kind of time he needs. I need to trust that it is the external stimuli that he needs and not an affair. By giving him this freedom which he doesn't then abuse, HE proves daily that it is me that he loves, respects and admires. Maybe I am just very lucky to be with such an awesome person, but I sincerely hope that you too can have this kind of understanding relationship.

Dewi

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Re: The Books Are Available Now
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2008, 08:52:56 AM »
I just finished the book.

I think it was even better than The Introvert Advantage, which I loved muchly.

Especially, I found it very helpful in dealing with extroverted people, not just partners, great tips on talking to extroverts. I feel the 'no one understands me' tag is easily appliable to outies as I had no idea how they felt despite outward thinking. And now I feel I can talk on their level despite the strspamle.

Basically, it's helped me to fit in a lot more & hopefully changed my whole outlook on life.

soul_searcher

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Re: The Books Are Available Now
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2009, 03:12:05 PM »
After reading all your posts, I am really looking forward to reading this book! Dewi, I also loved The Introvert Advantage, and if you say this is even better, I can't wait to read it! Especially since you said it helps to relate to Extroverts in general.

Jinx, I really admire you and your husband's ability to work things out with each other so that each of your needs are met, you as an Introvert and him as an Extrovert. It's very inspiring.


« Last Edit: January 06, 2009, 03:23:20 PM by soul_searcher »

Quiet

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Re: The Books Are Available Now
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2009, 07:55:48 AM »
It should be required reading for exroverts.   There is nothing wrong with us.

Quiet

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Re: The Books Are Available Now
« Reply #11 on: April 01, 2009, 02:57:26 PM »
I read the Introvert Advantage and agree with just about everything in it about introverted behavior. (finally someone understands)

The core problem is that extroverts are the majority, and therefore set the standard for what it "normal."  Years ago, before reading the book, I told someone after a party that I wanted time to rest before going to another one.  I was told I sounded like an old man.  So, even if you explain things to extroverts, they regard introverted behavior as some sort of character defect.