The Introvert Advantage
Introverts are thoughtful, imaginative, tend to work independently and think outside the box. Introverts are keen observers and sensitive listeners. Introverts prefer to be involved intimately with one person and are often drawn to life’s spiritual side. Introverts are not antisocial, shy, or aloof.
But they are in the minority—outnumbered by extroverts three-to-one in a culture that values being an “Outie” over an “Innie”. And they are easily misunderstood, as often by themselves as by their extroverted families and loved ones. Here to change all that is The Introvert Advantage, How to Thrive in an Extrovert World, which combines Dr. Laney’s clinical experience, interviews with Introverts, research from neuroscience and related disciplines to piece together the physiological reasons why introverts and extroverts behave differently. This book helps introverts to understand, appreciate and manage their internal processing systems.
Dr. Marti Laney, an introvert herself who works as a therapist specializing in introverted clients, knows all the trouble spots and how to cope with them. There are the advantages and challenges of each kind of relationship: female Innie and male Outie, male Innie and female Outie, and both male and female Innies. Dating strategies, with one key bit of advice for that anxiety-producing first meeting: “Don’t try to be extroverted!”How to determine if your child is an introvert, and how to understand—and work around—his or her special needs, especially how to do so if you yourself are an extrovert. Seven guerilla socializing tactics, including the four phrases of small talk and fail-safe ways to get a break to cope with that “too-much” feeling.
Then there’s the subject of work, with a full chapter devoted to introversion at the office: how to let co-workers know you are participating at meetings, how to blow your own horn without feeling overexposed, plus bridging Innie/Outie communication gaps, four ways to ask for what you want, de-stressing your day, and a five-step plan to reduce overwhelm.
Shakespeare, of course, said “To thine own self be true”. For the introvert, finally, here’s how.
Comments (11)
Hah!
Where were you 50 years ago when I needed you!? I just came across the Mensa interview/podcast, and listened to that. Just downloaded the book from Amazon to my Kindle. After a lifetime of confusion, two marriages, and much misunderstanding in the workplace (although I did manage to evolve from social service caseworker to a bit more appropriate systems analyist, and was pretty successful) at age 64, I am just beginning to really understand why I’m “Dave the Hermit.”
Best Regards,
Dave James
Thank you for your book which describes most of my personality that I am not actually sure before. Now I am trying to know myself and make an balance between myself and outside world lest my energy lose out.
Such a great book! I was introduced to this book at a conference for professionals in higher education. While most of us who attended the session are self-described innies, the outies who attended the session spoke to the power of learning how both introverts and extroverts function and think of one another. I recommend this to both introverts and extroverts…anyone who wants to learn more about themselves.
Thank you for your book which came to my hands I don´t even know how as I had never thought about introvercy before. It came to my life at point when I started to “losing it” as I felt there was something very different about me, didin´t know what and thought I was alone in the world with it. Your book changed my life to better and explained a lot of things about myself beginning in childhood and made myself reconnect to society (to some point). I also really appreciate your efforts to explain to community who are introverts, what are their strong skills and to remove the prejudices that come with this type of personality. It really hurts me and make me feel distant when I am in a group of (educated, adult) people and someone mentions a „weird“ person they met and automatically define them as introvert. I wish introverts were more accepted in the world as many of them in history have pushed the world forward…
I just have to say this is the most informative, inspiring book I have ever read. I have a BA in psychology, and I am a substance abuse counselor. With all of this schooling I was never taught about introversion and extroversion in the way its described in this book. I am an introvert and have always struggled with believing there was something ‘wrong’ with me. I now know that who I am is perfectly fine…maybe better than fine! This book was as if it was telling my life story to a tee. Also, This book has been a huge improvement on my abiltiy to counseling in helping me to look at my clients as intro/extros and start there in the treatment planning. This book not only changed my life, but it has changed how I help others to change their lives. This is a must read for anyone in the helping fields. Thank you Mrs. Laney for writing such a profound book.
Thank you so much for writing this book. I am 20 and with a strongly introverted temperament. I keep learning on this subject and it is helping me to understand myself and how not to get lost in today’s world as an introvert. As the Greeks said “Know yourself!”.
Regards
Someone said something to me while at a cafe, he was observing me and suddenly said: You only speak when the conversation is worth contributing to, don’t you? He said it politely not sneering just commented on me. It lifted my spirits towards how I view my preference with socialization.
Found your site while “Easter Egging” on the web. Will download your book from Amazon to my Kindle. Knew I was in the minority, but didn’t know which one. Am going to email this to both my kids – hopefully they will quit nagging me to “be happy” according to their world.
I remember as a child being drug from therapist to therapist by my very extroverted mother insisting my introversion was a mental disorder and I MUST be cured of it. Thank you for writing this lovely book.
Several aha’s indeed. Learned more about myself!! Yeah!!
Question regarding transforming or changed whether on is an innie or outie? You state that this temperment cannot be changed! I can see that, but how does that work with character development, i.e. behavioral changes that are needed in a childs and/or an adults life? Upon thinking about this further, if a child is raised in a purely innie household the child will not only catch but be taught innie lifestyle patterns which cause much confusion. The innie may be truly an outie but had to adapt their temperment to their surroundings. Or vice a versa. Are temperments altered than if they are not changed?
Thanks, and again koodo’s on the book. Our staff development director recommended this to me. Great introspective reading. I wish outies would grasp these concepts. :>)
David Brownlee
I am 17 years old and go to a small school of mostly extroverts. For so long I thought I was weird and antisocial because I didn’t enjoy what most others enjoy. I am slowly trying to help my extroverted friends know that that’s just how I am! They have a very hard time with it though. This book is awesome, I really think it’ll help me through the next years of my life. I’m glad I found it early on!
Bianca